Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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