i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
