oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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