The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize