that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
