We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
