Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
