It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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