roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
