If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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