I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
