So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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