it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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