As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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