Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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