I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
