i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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