so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
