is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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