Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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