using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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