Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Actions speak louder than pants.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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