If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize