You can't motorboat a personality
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
