What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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