flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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