you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Welp...herpes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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