My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
