We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dicks are not precious.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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