doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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