ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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