So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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