i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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