she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
