Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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