We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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