Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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