"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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