My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
