So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
