There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
