I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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