I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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