"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
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