how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
