The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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