if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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