he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
