Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
