***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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