It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
