Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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