? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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