Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
