I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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