I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
