was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
