i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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