I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
