What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
